
Humorous opening spoof of the Best Picture nominees? Check. Billy Crystal offering his usual schtick? Check. Boring and tedious moments peppered with foreign accents and occasionally memorable acceptance speeches? Check.
In other words, the Academy Awards of 2012 felt very much like the Academy Awards of 1992.
Taking on the job of producing the film industry's biggest event is a thankless and challenging task. One is either criticized (harshly) or praised for blatantly attempting to revamp the format with stunts and sensibilities that feel fresh, new, now...or sticking to a formula that's as old as time. In other words, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. After director Brett Ratner bowed out of the gig due to his homophobic slip-up last fall, Eddie Murphy, Ratner's go-to guy, also backed out. It's a shame, because after watching last night's televised ceremonies, I can't help wondering what the show would've been like had two of the industry's perceived "bad boys" taken the reins.

What's an 84-year-old American institution to do when Plan A goes up in smoke? Turn to its safety backup, of course. And that's what it did, hiring veteran Crystal to jump in. And that's what the night ended up being: safe. Actually, it felt much like a throwback. Even the production design of the stage was retro (I dare someone to revisit the 1977 broadcast and make comparisons). Yes, breaking out some vintage tricks is always fun, but it also acts as a reminder of just how old and hokey this production has gotten (Crystal even took to the Twitterverse after the Cirque du Soleil performance, calling the night “just a pony away from a Bar Mitzvah”). It's also not enough to sustain viewer interest, especially during all of those technical awards America has grown to be disinterested in. However, as someone who's lived in Hollywood for a decade now, I've grown on the contrary, and watching the awards with a bunch of like-minded individuals make the viewing experience way more fun (I highly recommend several bottles of wine and cupcakes to go along with it; that way, those three-and-a-half hours won't seem so tedious).
That said, instead of being a nit-picking, negative Nancy, allow me to focus on the highlights, five of the best moments from last night's broadcast of Hollywood's annual kudofest:
1. Queen Meryl Wins Her Third Oscar - Poking fun at her embarrassment of riches, Streep delivered a heartfelt and sincere speech. A true class act (with a sense of humor), and the undeniable benchmark for acting.

2. Chug! Chug! Chug! - Melissa McCarthy and Rose Byrne, continuing their Scorsese drinking game from last month's SAG Awards (taking shots whenever the director's name is mentioned), break out mini bottles of Grey Goose during their presentation when someone in the audience shouts out the auteur's name.

3. Emma Stone Shines - The Academy Award newbie, presenting with straight man Ben Stiller, couldn't contain her excitement and hilariously tried to pull a Hugh Jackman and break out into a song-and-dance number.
4. The Wizard of Oz Focus Group - Christopher Guest & Co. brilliantly picked apart the 1939 classic (Fred Willard: "More flying monkeys!") and all was right with the world.
5. Octavia Spencer's Hot Date & Angelina's Leg (tie) - We knew Spencer would deliver one of the most emotional speeches of the night (because we, and everyone who saw The Help, knew she would win), but inquiring minds were screaming: Who was that sexy piece of man candy on her arm at her seat? (it was the film's writer-director, Tate Taylor). And then, of course, there was Jolie's awkward stance during her presentation, which was immediately mimicked by Jim Rash when he picked up an award for co-writing The Descedants. Totally brill.
Tell us your other memorable moments!
- Hiko Mitsuzuka
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