by Garytt Poirier
Our very own Garytt Poirier shares a few insights after surviving this third trip to Comic-Con.
Mark Hamill charges $120 for an autograph?! Guess what? Carrie Fisher only gets $60 for an autograph. I find the autograph tables to be the most depressing aspect of Comic-Con. Fans line up for hours, in some instances, for a measly signature on a cheap 8x10 photo. Over at CBS's Person of Interest booth, the autograph process looked more like an assembly line than a chance to interact with your favorite stars. People were herded through the line like cattle with no time to enjoy the experience. On the other end of the spectrum, I noticed Sid Haig from The Devil's Rejects sitting at a makeshift card table waiting for fans to come over and shell out $20 for his autograph. He takes the cash, proceeds to take out his wallet, and places the $20 bill comfortably inside. There is absolutely no shame at Comic-Con. Fans show up in all kinds of wacky costumes and pseudo celebrities charge wacky prices for memorabilia.
9. Act Like You Belong There.
Sometimes you go to an event with a press pass, and you're not sure how much pull you get with your credentials. The Walking Dead celebrated its 100th issue at Petco Park on Friday night at Comic-Con. Hotter In Hollywood was at the black carpet. Executive editor Hiko Mitsuzuka kept himself busy interviewing celebrities while I was more interested in the party going on upstairs. Then I remembered one of life's greatest lessons: It is better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
So, instead of asking if press was allowed in the party -- thus bringing negative attention to ourselves -- we just walked passed the black carpet and up the stairs into Swanky-Hollywood-Party-Land. I am 90% sure we were invited to the party, but still, the uncertainty adds a bit of adventure. And what would Comic-Con be without some adventure?! Once you're in the party and hobnobbing with celebrities over free booze and hors d'oeuvres, make sure you act like you are the guest of honor. Don't call attention to yourself. Don't go fanboy on the first actor you see and gush over him like a tween girl at a Bieber concert. Interact with them like human beings because... well... they are human beings. The zombie actors hired for the party, on the other hand, are not.
*Also, be gracious to the waitstaff and bartenders and they'll likely treat you well in return.
8. Batmobiles are awesome no matter how old you are!
7. Buttons are not swag.
When you walk into Comic-Con and obtain your badge, you are given a giant bag typically sponsored by Showtime. In my rookie appearance at the Con in 2010, I grabbed the bag and filled it to capacity with worthless handouts that sat in a corner of my closet until Comic-Con 2011. My right shoulder and posture have not been the same since. This year, I said no to the bag. I walked around the exhibition floor and noticed that the "swag" that the television networks and film studios are giving out now is worse than ever. Everywhere I walked I heard, "Get your free insert film/TV show here button!" Button?! What would I want with a single button let alone several buttons? Am I a six-year-old child? Is this the 1960 Presidential Election?! No thanks. I'm not interested.
6. Chewbacca walks VERY slowly
Seriously dude, can you please pick up the pace a little bit?
5. Famous people shop at Target too!
We spoke with Robert Kirkman (right), the creator of The Walking Dead, about how much his life has changed over the course of two years. One aspect that has not changed, however, is his wardrobe. He still buys his plaid shirts from Target. I smell a zombie-infused endorsement deal! Suri Cruise should take note.
4. Extremist religious kooks want to spoil everybody's fun.
I want to go on the record as saying that Jesus would be a big fan of Comic-Con. Sure, some of the characters may be sacrilegious and some of the subject matter is satanic. However, Comic-Con is all about humans getting together for a weekend and embracing our differences. Star Wars fans bonding with Marvel fans. Twilight fans having intelligent debates with True Blood fans. This is what Jesus would have wanted!
Secondly, the church needs to find some better representatives to picket events. The reason why people run away from religion and into a convention center filled with eccentrics in costume is because the eccentrics inside aren't nearly as frightening as the religious zealots yelling about damnation outside.
3. Game of Thrones knows how to make an intriguing cocktail.
Wired Magazine once again hosted the Wired Cafe on the sixth floor of the Omni Hotel. Like last year, HBO sponsored the outside bar. Last year, they served a True Blood-inspired vodka cranberry drink to which I said, "Thanks, but no thanks." This year, they wisely served a Game of Thrones-inspired cocktail with Jameson Irish Whiskey, ginger ale, and some green stuff. It was a tasty treat for a change. Ultimately, being the purist I am, I opted for the simple yet delicious Jameson on the rocks.
2. Even I can get starstruck at times.
I had to do a little work while at the Con. I had an interview set up with the ultimate legend: Beetlejuice. As an avid Howard Stern Show listener for years, I can't honestly call this work since it was an absolute pleasure and a dream come true to meet Beet. He was promoting his new film Girls Gone Dead. I was lucky enough to receive a copy of the boob-filled gore-fest and it does not disappoint as a campy B-flick filled with tongue in cheek fun.
I was nervous I wouldn't be able to speak to Beet since I was told he was not in the mood to talk to journalists. Luckily, Beet had a cigarette and returned to the table and graciously answered a few of my questions. A crowd began to form and everybody watched on as we enjoyed a man that is truly one of a kind.
Girls Gone Dead is available on DVD.
1. Despite their reputations, even evil villains need a hug every now and then.
I am here for you Darth. Give me a call if you need anything.
- Garytt Poirier (@Garytt)