The word for the week is relationship, little ducklings. All you Cancers, Virgos, Capricorns, Scorpios and Pisces are out there raising the bar in your relationships while the rest of us struggle to keep up. With Mercury going retrograde in Scorpio on the 11th, Scorpios like Leonardo DiCaprio will be hit hardest with second thoughts and inward reflection on what it all means, while Cancers like Harrison Ford and Capricorns like Denzel Washington will be too busy pushing the limits of their relationships to reflect much until later. Fortunately for us all, Venus transiting Virgo with Saturn this week will hold everyone accountable, making us all reach a little deeper than usual to understand why we say and do the things we do, putting an end to patterns that no longer work for us. So for everyone out there looking some relationship dilemma down the barrel, rest easy, my friends, this week the piper is coming calling, and you might just be the one playing his tune. I say get busy and slay those demons, you sexy beasts!
The Stars that You Are
Weekly Horoscopes: Remember to read for the sign on your ascendant too!
Lucid dreaming occurs when a dreamer dreaming realizes he or she is dreaming. This begs the question if we can alter our dreams in our sleep, what is to prevent us from altering them when we’re awake? To prompt lucid dreaming dreamers take actions in waking life that prompt them to take the same actions while dreaming, like reading a text, looking away, and then looking back at it. If the text changes you know you’re dreaming. Aries, you’re very close to making your dreams a reality, so under the New Moon on the tenth look at the text you’ve been writing. It should be the future you want.
Adopting a child happens in many different ways, but one thing is pretty clear, an adopted child is chosen in a way not every child can lay claim to. This week Taurus, there are circumstances in your life causing you to rethink certain relationships in your life and you may even think something’s too good to be true. You may be getting cold feet about something, even as you move forward on it. If you are tempted to throw the baby out with the bathwater, don’t. Instead, consider adopting that baby for good. Your heart is speaking more clearly than your mind right now. Listen to it.
This week you’re going to be a bit like a kid late at night in the hotel room after a day at Disneyland eating cotton candy and drinking sody pop. Everything’s going too fast for you to make much sense of it, but you’ll be having too much fun to really care. Fortunately, after you’ve jumped from one bed to another for the kajillionth time, finally landing on the floor in a heap in your still damp swimming trunks there is someone there pick you up and tuck you in, and tomorrow you won’t even remember how you got into bed. Now, run along and make a fabulous, great big FUN mess, like a good little Gemini.
There’s a guy in the café I’m writing this from who might be cute and might even be staring at me but the fact he’s wearing sunglasses indoors at night sort of ends the conversation before it starts. But maybe he’s just a Cancer going through a Mars transit! It’s a sensitive time for you moon folk this week. If wearing sunglasses at night is what it takes to get through a week of feeling exposed and vulnerable so be it! Don your sunglasses, but remember: however exposed you feel that’s how exposed we’ll be with you. Don’t protect yourself from the very person you want to meet halfway.
I know you’ve been waiting for a sign, Leo. Well, wait no longer! This week you’ll be painting the sign yourself in big bold strokes, and something real colorful, too. That inertia you’ve been falling prey to will burn away under the New Moon on the tenth. Whatever trick you’ve been keeping up your sleeve until you yourself forgot it was there is about to demand to be noticed and it won’t be taking no for an answer. With Mercury going retrograde squaring your Sun you may not be able to read the sign you paint, but don’t let that stop you! Make it even bigger! You can always read it later.
When I was a kid I wanted to be an actress, but I swear my favorite part of the fantasy was the Oscar speech I wanted to deliver thanking all the people who helped me on my way up! Virgo, this week you might want to consider writing and delivering that speech, regardless of whether it is accompanied by an Oscar. It’s come to your attention lately that there are people out there who like you, they really, really do, and without them you wouldn’t be able to do that thing that you do. Go on, get up there on that stage and run out of time. Make the music swell and the hook come out. We deserve it!
Sailing is always an adventure, because navigating the uncontrollable elements of weather and geography in a tiny man-made vessel is two parts exhilaration and one part just plain stupid. So what? When you’re ready to set sail, you’re ready to set sail. Libra, you’ve been aground for a while now, but the New Moon this week on the tenth sets you free to leave your land-locked captivity and regain your sea-legs. Just remember to bring along your navigational charts, ‘cause you’ll want to double-check everything under the Mercury retrograde period. Don’t let your doubts stop you, though. It’s time to launch!
Olympic gold medal winner Marion Jones recently gave a press conference in which she confessed to lying about steroid use since 2000. Although her apology seemed heartfelt it’s hard to believe when she’s only offering it now she faces jail time. But sometimes we have to forgive others for our own sakes, not theirs, and that’s why this upcoming Mercury retrograde period will push all your buttons, Scorpio. A relationship is causing you to ask questions the other person just can’t answer. To get to the bottom of this one you’ll have to stop trying. The good news is this will be surprisingly easy.
Did you read that scientists recently discovered the appendix is actually useful after years of maligning the organ as being totally unnecessary? Turns out it actually produces and protects good germs for your gut and aids in digestion. You’ve been trying to tell people for months now about something important and no one’s been listening, but under the New Moon this week on the tenth your persistence will pay off and people will start to take you seriously, Sag. Good thing you’ve been listening to your gut all along on this one, cause if it had been up to us we would have had that thing removed a long time ago!
Mystery is a leader in the Seduction Community with a new reality show on VH1. One of his most famous techniques is called “negging” which basically involves putting down a beautiful woman you want to sleep with to provoke her interest. The idea is beautiful women are intrigued by men who don’t want them, but I have an astrologer friend who is a bit of a player and he SWEARS this technique works better on Capricorns and Libras. Whether you’re a beautiful woman or not, Cappy, this week get set to be negged. Of course you’ll love it. Nothing gets you all hot and bothered like rejection. Have fun!
The ice-skating rink at Rockefeller Center in New York opened this week in 80 degree heat which left the skaters there hydroplaning across the watery ice. In the news clip I saw one girl claimed part of the fun of skating that day was that it was so warm. Perhaps she’s right, and we’re all taking this global warming thing a little too seriously. After all, what do we care? We’ve got today, after all. Aquarius, this week whatever it is you’ve been struggling to let go of will let go of you. I won’t lie, you may be skating on thin ice, but don’t let that stop you from racing to the other side. There is no time like the present.
Bible literalists are forever trying to figure out how Noah got all those animals on the ark, but they might be missing the boat on this one, ‘cause it’s a cracking good story without trying to figure out he disposed of animal waste. God asked Noah to keep all his creatures safe while he lost his temper and flooded the earth. If it weren’t for Noah, we wouldn’t have any wee small lambkins left. Remember Noah this week, Pisces, ‘cause you’re facing your own personal flood, and what you save might have the power to save you later. Hint: Noah put those animals in the ark two by two for a reason!